The Southern Church of Jesus Saves All Who Follow Him
The Southern Church of Jesus Saves All Who Follow Him, in Dyersville, Iowa, is looking for Christians to join them in their ‘Loose a limb for the Lord’ programme.
The church is so confident in the power of prayer to heal, they are willing to have one of their limbs hacked off, then wait for God to grow a new one back.
Head pastor Johnson Thomas III said, “These darn new militant atheists attack the Lords power, when they point out that no missing limbs have been miracled back. Well, we are willing to show the power of Jesus Christ, by proving them wrong! Due to my low BMI, I’m a naturally skinny fella, my doctor has advised me I can’t afford to lose more weight, so losing a limb and waiting for it to grow back, is not an option for me but I’m glad to report that one of our chubbier members Greg, has stepped up to the plate”
Greg Splatter urged fellow Christians to join him on his mission. “I can’t wait to lose my arm and have Jesus grow it back, I’ve got over 200 people ready to pray for me and whilst I can, I open my arms and ask for others to join me.”
The church has tried the power of prayer before to induce a miracle, Johnson Thomas III explained “unfortunately brother Seth is still blind, 4 years on from the gouge for God campaign but his sense of smell is absolutely terrific now, God does work in mysterious ways, Amen”