The American Military has contacted Presidential candidate Mitt Romney, to enquire about his reported huge ‘needle’ statue. It is believed they may wish to use the needle for military purposes.

It has been rumoured that the U.S. military has been trialling a new anti radar cloaking device. A security specialist explained, “…a special division of the U.S. Army has set up to explore reports that nun’s habits have the power to block Gods omnipotent view.” “Nuns bathe clothed at all times to ensure that God can’t see their naked form, he can obviously see through walls but that darn nun material, no chance,”
Former Major General Clint Stubblebutt believes the military is on to a winner. “Shoot, we spent billions of dollars developing stealth technology and now it appears we have a cheap and easy alternative, one problem they have though is how do they get a nuns habit to cover a tank ?”

Conspiracy nut Colin Foul said, “It’s believed they may need Romney’s needle to stitch huge nun’s habits together. There have been reports of fat nuns disappearing mysteriously throughout the world and I believe the military has a secret location where they are force feeding those holy bitches to produce giant nun habits.”
The U.S. Military refused to comment.

 

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